Paraplexic? Not really…

Disabled? Maybe...

Have you feel you've lost control of your body? your mind?

You think you are thinking. But what are your thoughts?

What is going on inside, so tempestuous for the outside to comprehend?

I wanna tell my body to move, but I don’t feel like moving.

Why am I like this?

Why can’t I just DO something.

But to sit, surrender, cry, miss, fear.

Look for answers, reasons of things that already past and that no matter how much I regret, I cannot go back to change.

They happened. I did what I did. Why can't it be just  place in the past where it belongs?

Why the need of this being by my side that keeps my mind occupied. Not thinking about the past.

Not thinking at all until I start thinking again in other matters of “life”. And here we go again.

Always something to be worried about.  

Always something broken.

Always something to “think” about.

Always something to fix.

Always something that needs to be avoid. Put off. Ignored…

But then I again I find myself struggling.

I struggle because I need the struggle.

I feel I don't know peace. That I have always been in war. In war with myself. With the world around and inside.

But I need it. I have this hunger that doesn't go away.

I feel like i'm going to explode, and i'm sure I will if I don't do something to find peace.

All I need is to DO. What?, it’s coming but I can't see it. Too busy worrying.